My Future Children

This is a story I've debated posting a few times because it is very dear to me and I didn't really want to hear any negative comments about it. But I've decided to post it now...

This happened to me about five or six years ago, in 2004 or 2005 while I was in college. At that time I was dating a guy, let's call him Jack, whom I was planning to marry right after college. At the time we had been together for three or four years, and we were excitedly making plans and talking about marriage and kids. Ever since I started babysitting when I was twelve years old I've desperately wanted to be a mother! For some reason ever since I was a very little kid, (maybe seven or so?), I've always said I would have kids when I turn 28. I have no idea why I wanted kids as soon as possible and I never had any good reason for fixating on that number!

Well, at this time in college I was feeling very lonely and really wishing that I could just quit college, get married and have kids. (I never really enjoyed college that much. I got lonely easily and always felt like I was just spinning my wheels. Super glad I finished it now, but at the time all I wanted to do was get the heck out of there. So, later that year I went home for spring break, and one night while I was trying to fall asleep at my parents' house I kept thinking longingly about how badly I wanted to have kids. NOW. I fell asleep, and that night I had a vivid, very real dream. I can only describe it as astral travel really because I could hear, see, and feel everything. I felt my feet hit the ground as I walked, the wind, everything... I was in what had to be Heaven!

I arrived in this gorgeous place filled with light and more vivid colors than I've ever seen on Earth. Everything glowed, and everything emitted a beautiful, indescribable music. The kind that could never be created here on Earth... And standing in front of me were a very nice looking teenage boy, probably around 17 or 18, and an adorable little girl, probably around 5 or 6. When I saw them I immediately knew that they were my kids. We were all hugging and beaming. We had a long talk together that I couldn't remember when I woke, but I remember them taking me to a place - a big open field covered in long grass and red and yellow tulips that glowed and made music at the foot of a mountain. It was the most happy I have ever felt! They allowed me to see myself walking there in the "past" with the two of them, holding hands with an adult man that they wouldn't let me see clearly, and talking to him as if we were planning our upcoming life together and talking about how we would meet and what we would do. I assumed it was Jack of course, although later when I woke up I vaguely remembered the man I was walking with having blondish-brown hair (my boyfriend Jack had super dark hair). That confused me but since I couldn't explain it I just shrugged it off and thought I was mistaken...

They took me many places and showed me many things, none of which I remembered when I woke, but finally when it was time to go, my "son" told me so. I was protesting and said I wanted to stay longer! He smiled and laughed in amusement and said, "Don't worry, Mom. We'll be with you really soon. We'll see you again." Then he smiled and handed me a bright red tulip, and kissed me on the cheek. Then he said gently, "It's time to go back now, Mom. Close your eyes now." He put his hand over my eyes with a smile and I immediately opened my eyes in bed, feeling as if I'd been transported. I felt amazing and I could feel their presence around me. I wanted so badly to believe that it wasn't just a dream, and it certainly hadn't felt anything like a normal dream at all!

Later that morning, I was in the kitchen talking to my Mom and as I reached into the fridge for something, I felt a very small child's finger tap me three times on my low back in an insistent way. For a moment I took it in stride and looked around expecting to see a niece or nephew behind me, but then remembered, "Duh! No one is visiting right now!" There was nobody there. In my mind I heard a little girl giggle and "felt" someone run around the corner playfully. I was a bit skeptical about whether the giggle was imagined or not. Then later that afternoon I was sitting at the computer and I felt the same tap tap tap on my leg and again saw the little girl standing just a little ways away from me when I looked up. She smiled and playfully giggled, ran off and disappeared. I thought it was pretty amazing! It felt like they were trying to say, "Yes we are really here. The dream was real. Don't worry we're not far away and we'll be with you soon." It was very heart-warming and comforting. For quite some time after that, from time to time I had moments when they both would come visit me for a bit when I was feeling down or lonely.

One night at college I was crying and wanting to be a Mom so bad, and suddenly I sensed a presence, and I looked around to see a little boy a younger version of my "son." I noticed that his hair was a blondish-brown and it confused me a bit, as my then-boyfriend Jack had super dark hair and in my "dream" my son had had very dark hair and looked a lot like Jack. Nevertheless, I felt the same person there, and he came to me while I was crying, got in bed and cuddled with me to comfort me to sleep.

Now, five or six years later, a lot has happened in my life and Jack and I mutually split up several years ago just a couple months before we were to be married. I am now about to be happily married to my fiancé Bryan in a few months. We've known for a couple years that we were going to get married but we now have the means to get married. A few months ago I was visiting with some musician friends of mine listening to their professional band practice while sitting on the stairs, when out of nowhere I felt like looking to my right, and lo and behold, after three or four years of not seeing my "kids" because I was feeling much more happy and content with life, the same blondish-brownish haired little boy was standing at the top of the stairs. He walked down the stairs to me and sat down next to me on the step up from the one I was on, and leaned into me like kids often do. I was a bit mystified and very charmed by this, but I also got a funny little chill and began wondering if I was pregnant. When I got home the following week (I was on a trip), one morning I tested and found out I WAS pregnant! And the coolest part is that it dawned on me... Bryan's hair is blondish-brown.

I often wonder if my "son" had appeared to me at first in the dream looking like my then-boyfriend so as not to upset or confuse me. When I first found out about my pregnancy, I had two dreams (regular dreams) in a row about having a daughter. So I wonder which gender it will be! We have to wait two months yet to find out, but we are both VERY excited... Oh yeah...and the baby is due on Dec. 3rd... Just a few weeks after my 28th birthday. Didn't even think of that until after the fact!

Life is weird, isn't it?