Comments for My Father? Possibly: Page 1

BadJuuJuu - sometimes just talking about it with friends helps. Remember, that's what got this whole Loonie Bin thing started? Aussiedaz's therapy session.

Someone needs to hang out a shingle!

I don't think my mother experienced anything really. She said once or twice she felt like Dad was in the house with her. She moved away from this town in January, and hasn't said anything about activity in her apartment.
Thanks Cosmo. I don't think bravery played any sort of role though, but I appreciate it. It was simply strategic avoidance. I bet the librarians thought I was the most dedicated student ever lol.

You are probably right Lou, not likely that he'd have a change of heart. Just wishful thinking on my part. Most likely the smells are residual. And I don't think your words are salt on the wounds at all. In fact, I appreciate that you said it. And no, we don't have children, except for four-legged variety. We plan to keep it that way. Neither of us are exactly "kid-oriented."
Thanks Kardagen, Lou, and Miracles. I'm starting to make my peace with this mess.

BadJuuJuu, I am so sorry you had to endure that. It breaks my heart when these things happen to children, and young adults. I agree with both of your theories, in fact I was going to say that it was your fear. Being that afraid and worried can really take on a life of it's own. I think you are a very brave person, and I am happy you were able to overcome this ordeal. 😊 ❤

BadJuuJuu - did your mom ever experience anything after your dad died?

BadJuuJuu - I'm at a loss for words here. And, as everyone knows, that doesn't happen often. One thing I do want to say is, I'm glad you took the control away from him. Way to go!

BJJ,
Please don't take this as me trying to rub salt in the wounds; but the only thing that is a definite about your father's behavior, is that there is no "cure" for that type or "person".
No kids in your house, right?

Lou

Well, Lou, no problems, really. As I said, he was a chain smoker, he also loved peppermint. After he died 3 years ago, the house would suddenly start to smell like smoke, or peppermint. Neither my husband or myself smoke, and I despise peppermint so it's never in the house, unless my husband gets a cold. I sort of think my dad was trying to apologize for the stuff he put me through. The smells haven't happened in months though. Then again, we live in the house I was raised in. Maybe the smells were just residual. I think it was him though.

BJJ,
Any problems with you dad's spirit since he passed?

Lou

your welcome, its always good to get a second view on things. It opens different paths we hadn't seen. I asked the order in which the fear faded, because I would say it seems maybe. Your fear was giving his desire the energy to manifest. I'm glad it stopped. Who knows, I'm certain others will have differing view points. Never hurts to get as many angles as possible

The fear ended when I realized the way he looked at me had changed. I was brushing my teeth one night and realized I didn't hear the breathing. I walked through the living room where dad was and realized he was looking at me like I was something he'd scraped from the bottom of his shoe. When I realized I was no longer an object of interest, the fear died down. I still avoided him because he was temperamental, but no longer because of the desire issue. Maybe I was less nervous about that issue thinking to myself "haha, at least if you do try something, you don't get to steal my virginity." Maybe he picked up that vibe from me and that was why he started looking at me with disgust. He was a controlling person, and ultimately sexual violence is an issue of control and dominance. I took control of my own sex life, and denied him that power. I think you are right about the breathing being a result of the fear and desire combined. That is something I hadn't thought of, and it makes sense. Thanks ❤.

I would venture to say do not thank us for reading (though polite as it is), but we thank you for sharing a difficult story to tell, at the least. I would agree with you on the manifestation but as an accumulation of both your fear and his desire. Did your fear subside after loosing your virginity? Or after the realization he no longer looked at you in such a way?