My Spirit, Gone But Not Forgotten

This is only one of the few times I have shared this story, as it's not the normal thing to talk to friends or boyfriends about and only my family really know about it and believe me.

I'm Hannah-Louise. I live in England and I had a spirit or a ghost with me when I younger.

I use to stay at my Nan's house a lot of the time as my mum worked long hours and couldn't always look after me and my sister, especially in the school holidays. There were three rooms upstairs in my Nan's house; the spare room, my Nan and granddads room and the little room. As my granddad was always away with work my sister used to sleep in my Nan's bedroom with her and I used to stay in the little room on my own. The little room had two beds, but I always chose to sleep in the bed against the wall. The first time I felt this spirit or ghost was when I was about 3 years old, so my mum told me, being so young I don't remember everything that went on or how old I was at the time.

This spirit used to come and visit me when I was sleeping, I remember it was a male, not too old in about his 30/40's, however I never saw his face, whether it was because I was so young I do not remember his face or whether he was not a spirit defined enough to have a face, just a shadow. I always remember being able to see his figure though. This spirit used to come into my room at night and watch over me sleeping, the times I remember I always woke up but I would never let the spirit know I was awake, I wouldn't open my eyes. I would only peek through them to see him, as well as watching over me the spirit used to lift me up as though he was cuddling me, however he never held me tight or really close to him, he just used to hold me in his outstretched arms and just look at me.

The first time it happened my mum has told me I went down stairs and told my Nan what had happened. She and my mum just looked at each other with a knowing look on their face, they didn't tell me I was dreaming or that it didn't happen. They knew it did. Being 3 years old I wouldn't have had a mind capable of making up such a story, neither would I have had the knowledge of ghosts or spirits, so I wouldn't have been able to dream of it. This ghost used to visit me frequently when I stayed at my Nans. He would only come if I was in the little room, on my own and in my usual bed. He never came to visit me if my sister was in the room or if I was in the other bed. So I always used to sleep in that bed. The spirit visited me for about two years until I was about five.

Being so young I do not remember every time he visited me, or how long he would hold me for. I have one memory that stands out above anything else, one time that I will always remember. I was at my Nans in the little room laying in the usual bed, when he came to visit me. I had my eyes closed so I didn't show him I was awake, I was peeking through him, he gently raised me from my bed and held me in front of him, looking down at me. About a minute after he picked me up I could hear my mum coming up the stairs. This interrupted him, so he gently laid me back down on the bed, and he disappeared. Not just gone in one go, but it was almost as if he was spraying himself away, starting from head working down, every part of him disappeared. My mum then opened the door and checked on me and I pretended to be asleep, as I should have been.

I always remember the spirit coming to visit me, but that is the only memory I have that has stayed in my mind throughout time. This spirit was a kind man, he had no intention to scare me, neither did he have any bad intentions. I was never scared of this spirit even at a young age where I didn't know who or what it was that would come and lift me up and stand by my bed. I never feared it or questioned what it was. As time went on the spirit visiting me would become less frequent and then when I was about 5 it stopped all together. He didn't visit me anymore, he had gone.

As I got older I would bring the spirit up in conversation. My mum told me that the spirit was real, that it wasn't just me that knew he was there. My mum grew up in that house along with her brother and sister. She told me they all felt a presence in the house, however they never really had an experience with it. She told me that things would always go missing and then turn up in random places months later and that pictures would fall off of the walls spontaneously. The spirit, for some reason didn't like my uncle. My uncle came home one day to find everything in his room upside down, no-one had been in his room or touched anything, everyone knew that the spirit had done it. My mum only told me this recently but my uncle had an experience with being raised from his bed, not held like I was but just raised. However none of my family took much notice of him as he was drunk when it happened and they thought he might have just been imagining it, however now they believe him, because it happened to me. My Nan also used to feel the spirit. She used to feel it sitting on her bed. She'd felt a weight on her mattress and it being compressed down. I only found this information out years after I had my experience and as I got older, when I would understand it.

I know the spirit was real. I was not the only one that saw it or felt it. My Nan and mum say they think the spirit saw something in me, what it saw I don't know, the spirit never went to my sister. Neither did my sister ever feel its presence, it was just me. They also believe I laid the spirit to rest, that's why it disappeared, it had finished with being a spirit on earth. I am very proud of this experience and I am very glad I still have a memory of it happening, rather than being told by my family that I had a spirit. I feel lucky to have had this experience as not many people have experienced anything like I have, which makes me feel privileged to have had it happened to me. It will be a memory I will always carry and treasure. Even if people do not believe me or speculate that it's not the truth, I know what happened. So do my family which is all that matters.