Have I Opened Myself Up To Something Spiritual?

I don't quite know what to call this submission because it is not a story as such, but more a collection of random events.

I live in quite an old house (115 years old approx) and I suppose it is quite eerie. My parents bought it some 21 years ago shortly after the previous occupant, a lady called Doris, passed away in our living room.

My Dad has always teased my sister and I throughout our childhood that our house is haunted, but since I was around 14/15, I've asked parents, aunts, uncles and family friends about my house and they all believe that it is in fact haunted. I suppose I could say I have an infatuation with all things haunted, which is why I constantly pursued my parents and family to tell me what they thought was wrong with my home.

My Grandad and three uncles told me that during the first few months of my parents moving in, they heard the voice of an old lady on the phone. At first I though they were all in on a joke, but my mother confirmed it one day when she said she had heard the woman too. This didn't bother me however, a voice down the phone is harmless and for all I knew, had a reasonable explanation.

When I was a but older, maybe 16, I had a heart to heart conversation with my oldest cousin Sarah. Before I was born, Sarah had a younger sister who died at 5 years of age of cancer. She told me about how her two children, 4 and 7, would tell her that they had seen and spoken to 'Aunty Jo' when they were too young to have been told about her.

She went on to tell me that when my sister and I were that age, we would often tell her about an old lady we talked to before we went to sleep. My Aunty, who lived with us for a year while she was at college, confirmed the story; she said she sat on the stairs one night and listened to us talking to a third person.

In May 2006 my Grampa died, the following October, my Nan died of lung cancer. I seriously struggled with my grieving process for a very long time after this; I was very, very close to my Nan who was almost like a second mother to me. Though I never told anyone or looked for help, I genuinely believe for a short amount of time that I was depressed. I rarely ate and hardly left the house which could maybe count as an explanation for the noises I was hearing and the shapes I was seeing.

I remember one night I was in the bath, laying down and relaxing when I suddenly blacked out. I didn't panic initially because it always happened when I got too hot or bothered, but the next thing I knew, I felt hands running through my hair and across my forehead. I felt the weight of hands on my head and I knew I couldn't imagine the feeling of someones hands. It was like being in one of those dreams where you need to shout and move, but all that comes out of your mouth is a hoarse whisper. A few moments later, my ears started to ring and my vision came back and everything was normal.

After this I asked my closest friend to come see a psychic with me one evening; we went to what was like a group session in a small local chapel. We sat at the back and watched the psychic come to different people with different messages; last of all she came to me and instantly described my Nan. She told me a lot of messages from her but the one that stood out the most was that in her funeral, someone put a rose and a letter in her coffin and told no one about it. The letter was a thank you letter and it mentioned a house, fire and corned beef stew.

I went home that night and without thinking, told my mother. I didn't want to because I didn't want to make her have to think about my Nan again, but how was I to find out if what the psychic said was true? You can imagine my surprise when she told me that it was her who put the letter and flower in the coffin. She told no one because it was a personal thank you from her and her only; she said the letter was about the time my Nan set fire to her bathroom, came to live in our house and taught my mother how to make her own recipe for corned beef pie.

I completely freaked out the same night and at around 1 in the morning I still found myself awake. I decided to try communicating with my Nan, something I'd never even thought about trying before, and had quite a shock. I sat up with my blanket over my lap and with my arms resting above it. I didn't know what to say at first, so I just had a conversation with her out loud; telling her about all the things that had happened since she'd died. I then asked her to let me know if she was here for me. I made myself upset and was crying a little after this. I asked her again to show me she was here, and I felt a smoothing sensation down the inside of my left arm (that was facing upwards). I ignored it at first because it was so surreal, I though it might just have been a chill or a breeze in the room. So I asked her again to show me that she is still around, and the same smoothing sensation happened again.

I kept myself calm and held in all my panic and fear, and asked her to touch something and make a noise. Nothing happened for a while and my hopes started to fade. I started to get angry with her then; here I was sitting in my room trying to get a ghost to talk to me. I felt so angry that after 3 years, everyone had gotten over her death and I hadn't. I told her to make a noise if she loved me (unfair, I know) and sat still.

I have to explain first how my bedroom is laid out. It is a perfect square, 2 walls have windows, one wall has the door, and the fourth wall is completely bare apart from a radiator and a few photo frames. Nothing was touching the radiator, there were just a few socks draped on the one side, no windows were open.

When I sat still, I heard a tapping. It was only faint, so I asked her to do it again, it got louder and I recognised that it had a metallic sound to it. It got louder still and I could hear it was coming from the radiator. Finally, I asked her to do it one more time, but to only tap twice. Sure enough came two very clear and loud taps and, after a few more seconds, 2 of the socks fell off and I freaked out. I ran downstairs to the kitchen and started hyperventilating and blacked out. When my vision came round again I was sitting on the floor crying to my mother about Nanny trying to talk to me.

We haven't mentioned it since, it was nearly 2 years ago.

I've gotten over my grieving difficulties now and have let my Nan go, but I still somehow feel connected to something spiritual.

My boyfriend who I've been with for over a year tells me that, in my sleep, I open my eyes and watch my bedroom door every now and again. He says I often sit bolt upright all of a sudden and complain that my eyes ache because 'someone looks at them'. What's even weirder is that my two Airedale Terriers act quite oddly in my room. Sam will never come in my room, you couldn't drag him in there if you tried. Instead, he sleeps outside the door every night and looks in. Millie, my other dog, is the complete opposite; I'll often walk into my room to see her sitting in there staring into space, or sometimes I can see that she is watching something move.

A few times, I've woken up for no apparent reason to Millie or Sam acting in a way that I can only describe as sheepish. Millie will be pacing my room with hair tail between her legs, but still wagging, her ears down but looking quite guilty. She'll come over to the bed then back away a few times.

I don't know if this can be linked to any of these experienced, but with complete seriousness, I believe that I've had some psychic experiences. I won't mention all of them just yet, but the most serious one I've had is this; I didn't start my period until very late compared to other girls, a few months after my Nanny's death (14 years old). The night before I had my very first period, I had a dream that my Nan was telling me that when a girl becomes a woman, she has her period. In the dream, I found myself in my house telling my mother that I had started it, and going into my room to find all my sanitary bits and pieces, but my Nan stopped me and said 'no love, tomorrow, not now'. The next day I started my period.

The reason why I want to write this is because I still get weird dreams, night scares and weird dog experiences even now (19 at the moment). I was wondering really if there is anyone who thinks they've encountered deceased family members and, if so, is it still affecting you and in what way?

I don't really need help or advice, as I've mentioned, I am fascinated with this type of experience, so I'd like to just hear if people have experienced anything similar.

Thank you for taking the time to read my entry.