Was It a Last Good Bye?

My story took place 11 years ago, in 1996, few days after having experienced the loss of my best friend / ex-boyfriend Phil. In the night of the 5th /6th of march, a party was planned in a club, it was the birthday of one of our friend. As I hated clubs, and still do, I just refused the invitation to stay home with a girlfriend of mine.

My friend Phil was a bit upset and disappointed that I couldn't come, but he managed to take it quite good in the end, we were very close for many years, same school, same hobbies, we were seeing each other every day but each evening, we were spending hours on the phone, talking again about everything! My mother couldn't easily understand but she was ok with it though...

Well, back to this night. After having spent the entire eve talking funny things with my friend Julie, I had a bad feeling, I don't know where it came from, but still, I got pretty upset concerning the birthday party, and I almost regretted not to be there, I told Julie that I had a bad impression. We carried on until late in the night, with this bad feeling around.

Night over, no news from Phil... That was a bit strange. I lived in a house, with a garden and a gate some meters away from the front door, and in the beginning of the afternoon, I went in the garden to wait for "something". I just felt that I had to wait here.

Some minutes after, a bunch of friends came over, I saw all of them at the gate and I didn't understand why they were all here, but it was not good at all.

I opened the gate, they were all livid, tired, and some of them still crying. I understood. Something happened to Phil. And yes... He died this night, in a car accident, after the party, on his way home. No one could get him back home, so he got into a car of a stranger with another friend. He died 100 meters away from his house in a violent death, I will spare the details. The other friend died too, but not the driver... Well, as you can guess, I got totally destroyed and at the beginning, I couldn't even cry, I still don't understand why.

Before the burial, I spent 2 nights at his place, in his bedroom. I must add that he was in the bed. His mother wanted to keep him home before the very end. Once again, I will spare the details of that view during 2 days, you can always contact me if you want to read them... But it's far to be nice.

Few nights after this terrible event and the burial, I remember sleeping in my bedroom. I felt some cold air running around, which woke me up, in the middle of the night. I saw nothing but a halo of light on the right corner down my bed, and few seconds after, I saw my beloved Phil, sitting down, quietly, no smile on his face, but well, he looked quite good. Oh my, I was so amazed by this, I couldn't barely understand, I was not afraid at all, I sat down the bed, and after a very short while, he was still there but lifted up his hand, I ran to him, I sat on the floor to touch him, my head on his knees and my arms around him, believe me or not, I could feel him as I feel the computer right now! It was such an intense moment... I asked him 3 questions, and he answered.

Where are you? Very far away.

Are you alright? Yes

Will you come back? I don't know.

I remember that so well, it was a deep instance of bounding love between us 2, I could feel it. Few seconds after, he disappeared, I don't know how, where, and when exactly. I woke up the next morning, I was crying, sitting down the bed, same place... It was the first time I cried after his Death, the very first time, something like one week later. I never saw him again, he never came back to me after this night. Did he come to say good bye? The last good bye? I would not know... I will never forget, nor him, neither this night. If you have some experiences that are close to mine, please, light my torch, I will be grateful :)

Take care everyone.