Is It My Mind Playing Tricks On Me?

It was a strange day for me on the whole; my body felt detached from the mind and soul.

I did some shopping on the way home and it was the first time in years I found myself struggling to carry five bags of shopping. The physical pain was unbearable, and mentally I just wanted to cry.

I managed to get home totally exhausted, arms shaking, tears streaming down my face, and the voice in my head saying "you are not going to win". All the way home I could feel his presence.

My students arrived at 6:45pm for their Yoga class. The lessons are for an hour. After mother and daughter had gone, I had a quick shower and plunked myself on the sofa and watched a bit of TV. Within half an hour or so I was ready for bed. As much as I wanted to stay up I just couldn't.

It was one of those nights again, where I was absolutely exhausted, but kept tossing and turning, one minute on the side, the next on the stomach, then the back, at one point I was lying diagonally on the bed.

Trying not to disturb Inca my kitty. I closed my eyes, and managed to drift off whether it was a dream or a vision I was having I remember everything clearly, but I suddenly opened my eyes, it was like I had been hit with a jolt if that makes sense and Inca woke at the same time.

My eyes immediately looked towards the bedroom door and it was the same direction Inca was looking also. There was a woman standing there, as soon as I saw her she disappeared.

She was dressed all in white, her hair was messy and her arms were above her head, it was as if she was going to pounce on to someone. As I said she vanished as soon as my eyes were on her.

I just lay there, looking at what was now an empty space, Inca remained in his Egyptian position for at least a minute but then settled down next to me this time he snuggled up to me.

I lay there just staring thinking what scary shiat I had seen on Television. The thing is I don't watch scary stuff.

My boyfriends coat is hanging on the door. I kept thinking it was the coat that freaked me out, but then how could it, the coat is black the woman was dressed in white. As I focused on the coat I think my eyes started playing tricks on me.

I thought I could see a shadow blending in with the coat. I decided to turn on to my side and of course I am facing the window.

I lay there looking out the window, trying to look past the scary images that were being formed by my fear. Inca then got up and decided to go lie by my feet again; she was curled up so I could feel her body next to my feet. I lay there closing my eyes and then opening them. I could feel and sense all kinds of things.

I could sense the presence of a male outside in the garden right next to the window. I turned around so I was lying on the other side, but then I started to hear things moving in the corner, so I turned to lie on my back, and lay looking at the ceiling.

Now bear in mind by this time, my heart was pounding so hard I am sure any faster and harder, it would have pounded out of my body!

I was getting very hot but to afraid to take the blanket off, I was actually sweating. I kept drifting in and out of sleep.

I was so scared sleep was just impossible. I looked at the clock and it 2345. I could not believe how quick the time was going. I turned to face the window again and for some odd reason I looked at my quartz wand, I stared at it and it appeared to have an eye

I tried to focus, but that is what I could see a big eye in the tip.

I closed my eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts but they would not come, fear seemed to cloud my each and every thought.

I heard the bells, those familiar bells, a calling, but to where, by who? My eyes stayed closed, then as before, I opened them quickly and looked straight out of the window.

Inca had sat bolt up as well and was staring out of the window also. I heard someone walking close to the window, the same footsteps I heard when I was 11 years old in India.

I just lay there paralyzed and listening shifting my eyes to Inca and the window. The next time I looked at the clock it was 330am, Inca was sitting by the bedroom door staring.

I called him, he did not move. I called twice, but he did not budge. I sat up in bed alert and cautiously looking around the bedroom, the feeling of uneasiness covered me like a blanket. I did not look towards the window, but kept my eyes on Inca.

I called once more and he jumped on to the bed. Another 2 hours I would have to get up for work. Totally exhausted, I closed my eyes, I drifted out to sleep listening to the purring of my little kitten.