Visits

Ever since I was about 8 or 9 I remember experiencing strange events and feeling like I was different because of them; other kids didn't have these things happen to them, or see the things I saw. My first recollection of something *odd* was waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of my mother crying. I looked over to my right; standing in the doorway was my mom. Only, she was see through, and was crying and holding a huge wooden rosary that we owned, and just looking at me, shaking her head right to left and slowly falling to the ground. This continued until she was in a sitting position on the floor and then she disappeared. I remember looking away, rubbing my eyes, literally pinching myself thinking I was dreaming. But *it* disappeared when it was good and ready. After that, things became more intense. I would have instances of sleep paralysis and there would be a ghostly woman/figure (banshee?) screaming at me and trying to grab me or attack me. I could barely move, but sometimes I managed to fight back. Every morning after I would wake up with bruises in the shape of a hand and finger prints on my arm or legs. During that time I was also having a recurring dream that I was looking out my bedroom window and God (represented by my dad) and the devil were fighting for my soul. I could see the shadows of 2 figures hitting and struggling. I remember this dream like it was yesterday, so vivid, and I was so scared that God (my dad) would lose because I wasn't sure what would happen to me... But I knew it wasn't good. This continued for years.

At 15 we moved to the suburbs from the city and something else started happening. The move itself had me out of sorts. I don't like change and I developed some minor OCD I guess from the stress of it all. I soon started waking up in the middle of the night and seeing a shadow standing in the corner of my room, staring at me. Slowly he would start to move closer and I would panic and start to pray the Lord's Prayer. He would back off and finally disappear. This started as a monthly occurrence and quickly progressed to weekly, then nightly visits. Every so often, I'd wake up with him already standing beside my bed. Finally, scared it would happen again; I went to bed with the lights ON.

What happened that night, I still can't explain. I went to bed not in my usual position because I couldn't sleep well. I hadn't been sleeping well and my tossing and turning landed me with my head where my feel usually are, and facing the wall. I woke up, as usual, and felt the presence in the room. Only, since the lights were on, I didn't want to open my eyes because I'd see for sure what *it* was this time. So I just laid there. Then I felt something sit on my bed. My mattress was really soft so my entire body moved with the new weight on the bed... And so my eyes shot wide open. I was still facing the wall. I honestly tried to convince myself it was my imagination and that maybe it was my mom or dad sitting on my bed. So I rolled over to see who it was. What I saw had the general shape of a person, only inside out. I could see raw or burned flesh, and a growl forming on its face. It was leaned in real close, like it was studying me, and I could feel its breath on my face. I stared for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I screamed. As loud as I could, and shut my eyes, and threw the covers over me. I felt the weight suddenly off my bed and I opened my eyes again. It was gone. And I ran out of my room and to my parent's room on the first floor. I was hysterical. I slept on their floor that night. The next day my mother got holy water and blessed the house, starting with my room. I never saw that thing again. And I stopped having those dreams a long time ago as well. I still feel a presence at times, when I'm alone, but nothing like what I felt all those years ago.

Could anyone explain to me what that could have been?

Any theories?

That part of my history has always fascinated me, but I haven't any ideas why something would be interested in me in the first place, and then why it went away?

As a kid, I was much more in tune with spirits and angels and I communicated directly with God often and very easily at that. I remember feeling a very close relationship with God; I felt I knew him... Like I had met him before and we were close friends... If that makes any sense. I didn't feel that closeness for some years due to different things in my life and just a general "drifting apart".

I am now trying to fix that and reconnect and pray on a much more regular basis. Could my relationship with God have had something to do with its interest in me back then?