They Always Watch Me

I've always had an interest in the paranormal, and as I get older, I look at it more. I'm also interested in psychology and how the mind works in what we think we see or know.

When I was 6 years old I lived in a different home then I live in now, and now I am 15. When we had just moved in, there was a babysitter who watched me. We were in the basement, which was unfinished and it can be understandable why it would be naturally scary. I asked her why there was a giant S on the wall. She said it stood for Satan. Being 6 years old, I'm going to be gullible. I told my mom and she wouldn't let her babysit me anymore. She also told me that was where they were going to put the stairs, but the stairs weren't where the S was. That has less relevance except for the fact that it added fear to that house.

I would have nightmares about the basement. I would dream that a being that looked like the cartoon or popular picture of death would take me and my family and we would be trapped in the basement under the stairs, and that was the only safe place but ghosts would surround us. But someone was always stuck upstairs and sometimes died.

When I was 4 I had a dream about an evil clown that murdered and disoriented my family, which is irrelevant but interesting. And trust me, that dream was actually pretty scary. I only remember that while I was there I would see a man standing in my doorway that no one else would see. He wasn't clear or even realistic looking. But he had black eyes, brown hair, and was wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans. He would lean against the side of the door frame, and just stare at me. I didn't know what his problem was, and I never talked to him. Which I'm glad after hearing what may happen when you do.

One morning when I was eating breakfast I had no thought that could ever remind me of him. But somehow I thought of him and I saw his feet and he was standing in front of me, watching me. I told my mom and she told me to ignore him. I finally told my parents that I just wanted him to leave me alone so they came in my room and prayed to God with me. I believed in God, I am Christian, and I am to this day; because I've had nothing logical prove him wrong in what I know. They prayed that if he was evil, that he would leave me alone and that I wouldn't see him again. And if he was my guardian angel, that I would know of that and not be afraid. After they prayed, I never saw him again.

My parents also told me [and this I do not remember clearly until I asked them what I told them I saw in that house] I would see brown things dancing at the end of my bed. And sometimes I would see a black/purple figure watching me at the end of my bed. I think that scared me more. Sometimes I would wake them up and tell them.

I don't remember seeing much really after that. When I was 8 we moved out because there was too much traffic where we lived and my parents wanted to live somewhere more peaceful. When I was around 11 I started seeing really tall white figures, almost like white SHADOWS. They looked like they were cloaked, and I could only see the outline of them. Never their faces or exactly what they were wearing. I took them as angels at first, but I really wasn't sure. So I had no doubt that they may be demons or evil spirits, also. And sometimes I think it's a trick of the eye and some light left in my eye when I look away. And sometimes I would see short ones, about a foot tall, and they were dark shadows, and they would line up with each other. But I never saw them clearly.

Now I see 1, 3 or 5 tall black shadows in my room. They're near my door, or behind it. They just watch me. I always feel watched, even when I don't see anything. And I wonder if I'm just paranoid, because when I was younger I used to be paranoid that people didn't like me or something... And I'm still paranoid. I don't trust easily. And I question everything.

When I stay up late I've seen either a white or black shadow pass right by my bed around 3:00. I used to see a tall black figure in the corner of my room with a shorter black figure at night. And for some reason I felt like I knew it was a mother and her daughter... But they felt evil. It's mainly the shadows near my door that concern me. What are they? Who am I? What do I see? Or

Am I just PARANOID?