A little background about myself I am a 24 year old female that has been able to sense presences for as long as I can remember. I have had experiences with spirits and 'evil' entities in which I have not reacted well. Over the years and through discussions with people I have learned to accept things I see and hear and they do not bother me anymore although I do not actively look for them or try to get spirits into the 'light' I acknowledge a presence and ignore it until I can no longer feel it. However, since December of 09' things have progressed in regards to a certain entity.
It started with a dream. I've suffered with sleep paralysis for a very long time allegedly associated with an anxiety disorder I have been diagnosed with, but I digress, the dream consisted of me and my mother going to visit an old friend who would read our tarot cards whom had passed away by this point. We arrived at his house and my mom went in first to have her cards read while I waited outside on the porch. There were big wooden beams extending from the roof in this dream and a huge brown bird landed on one and was staring at me while I texted, I don't know why I was texting but I remember I was texting my ex boyfriend in this dream. The bird flew down and landed on my shoulder and I could feel it breathing heavily on my neck. I jumped into a panic at this point and started running around the porch but it wouldn't fly away. I finally got it off of me and it came back around I felt myself trying to pull out of this dream very aware of being awake unable to move but seeing the images of this dream. I felt myself in my bed but also felt the breath on the back of my neck. It was like I could feel my true surroundings but I could only see the dream.
The bird than changed into a tall man with a square jaw. He was wearing blue jeans and a black hoodie with the hood pulled over his head. His skin was pitch black and his face did not have any features it was just completely smoothed out no lips but he did have a mouth he had nostrils but no nose and he had big white eyes with no eyelids I turned to run but he embraced me from behind and was breathing on my neck. Hard to say but I lost the fear at this point because the feeling he gave me reminded me so much of my boyfriend at the time. I kept hearing a female voice say "He's not trying to hurt you". I woke up at this point feeling his arms around me I pulled myself up from my bed breathing heavily myself because the back of my neck is a very 'sensitive' spot for me if you know what I mean.
I calmed myself meditated a bit and laid back down. As soon as I fell asleep the images came back and I was at the same house and this person or thing was standing against the wall looking at me. It spoke to me but with thoughts not actual words he said "there you are, I just want to talk to you are you scared of me?" I responded "yes" but did not hear words just like a dialogue in my head. He approached me and I was unable to move he held me again but I still had the same feeling like that of my ex boyfriend but was still scared because of the way it looked. He was staring intensely obviously unblinking since he didn't have eyelids. He got really close to my face and I started to thrash around trying to get away again with this heightened sense I felt my bed and my room but saw the dream he kept pressing me asking if I was scared of him and I couldn't look him directly in the eyes it went on like this for what seems like forever until I finally gave up fighting against him looked him in the eyes and said "no, I'm not scared" after that I was able to sit up in my bed after feeling stuck to my bed like a magnet even though I could thrash around I couldn't sit up.
I sat up and saw him standing next to my bed only in my room he looked like a shadow no real form, no details. He gave me the same feeling and I felt comfortable so I lie back down and fell asleep with no dreams after. My ex told me to disregard the dream because he explained it must have been from a ritual he had done and was thinking of me at the time. He said I must have just picked up on the intensity of his thoughts and created this entity to represent it. I thought this was a completely plausible explanation and disregarded it even though I've seen this shadow ever since and it is only getting stronger in my life. My ex and I have since broken up so I doubt it was ever tied to him or his thoughts. It never has scared me until recently I have an anxiety about him because he follows me everywhere now especially at work and has become vocal.
Now forgive me for the length of this account but I want to know if this is a spirit, a demon, an illusion of my own creation? It has never 'hurt' me. He has been with me now for 4 months so there are more stories which I may post later. I'd like to know what this sounds like to other people though. Feedback will be greatly appreciated. I'm Agnostic though so religious remedies will not help but will not bother either. Thank You.
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