In a continuation of my last entry several things have happened in regards to the entity that has been following me since December of this past year. I took the advice of several of you that frequent this site: I got clear quartz and amethyst, I bathed in sea salt, sprinkled some catholic holy water about for good measure, and after speaking of this with my aunt she prepared a reversible [double action] candle for me with some oils for me to burn for 7 days to send any negative energy back just in case it was accidentally sent to me by my ex.
Now none of this helped in getting rid of the entity, it helped with making me feel better but the activity itself never really seized or decreased. I tried to communicate with him at work and started getting bouts of dizziness and extreme sleepiness in which I'd feel as though I was going to pass out, but I could definitely hear him more clearly when this would happen. He gave me a name which I asked another member of this site for help in identifying. The advice given was not to speak the name aloud which by the time I sent an e-mail and read a response I had already said it a bunch of times relaying what happened to my brother. Nothing negative occurred but there was a dream in which he asked me to look up lyrics to a song he dedicated to me. In this dream I went to my computer to look them up. There was a distinct sentence at the top of the page which I can't recall what it said all I remember is that from there it just said "Vero, Call Me" over and over and I felt this sick feeling when I saw it. After that his energy seemed to change as well.
Before I would just feel his energy all of a sudden very dominant, confident, comforting it changed to feeling like very anxious, needy, and desperate. It's hard to describe but I feel him like a motion at first it was like a sweeping motion very fluid, after it felt like someone running up at me not aggressively, more like desperately wanting attention which is weird because I welcomed him, although this might be because I was actively trying to rid myself of him what with the candles and the quartz and all. The only time I have ever felt scared was the first and only time I physically felt him, it felt like he put his head on my lap while I was working. I work with triage nurses and at the specific time I was gathering information for a crisis and didn't have time to even acknowledge what I felt and didn't even think twice about it, the day was long and when I got into the elevator after my shift I saw his shadowy figure in there and he hissed at me that scared me so much I practically ran out of the elevator once the doors opened.
A couple of days ago I was babysitting my nephew who was sick with strep throat it's really hard to give that boy his meds because he runs all over and makes a scene about it but I finally got him in my room he was standing on my bed and my mom walked in to help me persuade him which usually takes another 15 minutes I was just about to give him his meds when a cat started screeching horribly and the back door which is almost right outside of the room we were in. It sounded like it was dying or in pain or something I had never heard a cat screech like that and it wouldn't stop. It scared all of us, we went to the backdoor and it was scratching at the door my mom hit the door and I guess it ran off but this screeching was so bad even my neighbors came out to see what was going on. Well after that incident we laughed at how scared we had gotten and went our own ways. I went to the room with my nephew to get him to sleep turned the light off and the TV on and laid down with him well he was drifting and I was watching reruns when my mom walked in to see if my nephew had fallen asleep she looked at the wall above me and said "what does that say?" I looked behind me and above my head on the wall was written the word "Sorry"
We decided that it had probably been there but we just hadn't noticed it. It kind of looks like someone wrote it and I guess it was painted over or something since it hasn't faded. Ever since then though I don't feel him as much anymore. His voice is back to a whisper and I don't see him anymore. I've been having dreams in which I see someone walk into my room and talk to me but I can never remember what the person who walks in looks like or what they say. I feel as though he is fading and I'm left feeling confused as to what he is, what he wanted from me, and what the sorry was about. I never got any clear answers from him, and despite the name he gave me I still don't feel he is demonic. I have in the past been able to discern what I am dealing with and this time has been different. I asked one of my psychology professors about this and she suggested that I might be borderline schizophrenic, borderline because I do not meet the criteria given in the DSM-IV for schizophrenia. This is actually making me think of changing careers because if I'm mentally ill how can I expect to help mentally ill individuals. I just don't even know what to think anymore. Could there possibly be another answer I haven't thought of yet?
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