Comments for Constant: Page 1

princesslotus,beneath everything you said is a woman with a heart of gold, who's spirit will not be broken despite what ever cruelty is thrown at her, my heart goes out to you, I know where your coming from.
God bless
Aussie ❤

Hello Lotus,

First of all, I think it's wonderful that you're sharing your story and getting everything off your chest. I have a couple things I want to say and I hope that it can be helpful in some way. I felt very compelled to reply because I have a couple similarities with you. Let me tell you a bit about what helped me first... When I was a teen I suffered from depression, and during that time there was a very high amount of paranormal activity around me. Dark figures were always attacking me at night and trying to scare me. I too didn't want to burden anyone with my troubles or emotions, and I tried to deny my own emotions at times or at least bottle them up and keep them to myself all the time. I was also in quite a bit of constant pain throughout this period of my life. When I was 18 I made a powerful change in my life and decided to start climbing out of my downward emotional spiral. I began talking to friends and family members about it, privately I used a ton of positive affirmations and took negative thoughts I had about myself and reversed them into positive statements. I also worked on truly loving myself unconditionally. Me. Not anything that I was or had achieved or anything. Just plain old me, no strings attached. As much on a good day as on a bad one. The paranormal attackers grew reticent, nervous, bored, and then gave up altogether.
Now I am 27 and I had one ectopic pregnancy and one miscarriage in the past two years, and although that doesn't touch the trauma you went through with your babies I have been extremely emotional about those two losses for the past couple years. Whenever I am in a time of great stress, or holding in a lot of emotions, or taking better care of others than I do of myself, loving others more than I love myself, holding myself back from something I truly desire (such as convincing myself I can't follow a dream I have), feeling guilty or worthless, things like that... My health spirals downhill. I am also a natural therapeutics specialist and I know how trauma and emotions can help contribute to cause and worsen such things such as cancer and fibromyalgia. I am not in any way discrediting the obviously spiritual component of everything that is going on around you. I am a firm believer in ghosts, spirits, what have you. I'm just saying that from my own experience, if I am feeling really down or if I am in a frame of mind that says I am worthless or "worth less" than other people around me, I leave myself open to attack. Negative mindsets attract all kinds of dark entities like a kid to a candy store.
Now am I saying in any way that it's your fault you're sick? NO. Absolutely not! It's terribly unfortunate and I honor the very strong woman like you that it takes to persevere under so much difficulty and pain. Now here's one more thought about that. And I apologize if I'm way off base here. It's just an idea... Please know that you are just as valuable and just as good and just as worthy of attention and love without all the pain and suffering. Your sister suffered and because of that your parents focused the majority of their attention on her and it revolved around her illnesses and I'm sure they said things that encouraged her and complimented her on her great strength through the whole ordeal, lavishing her with praise, affection and attention. Things like that can really stick with a person and the mind is such a powerful thing. Regardless of the fact that you are now an adult and rationally understand it, it still imprinted on your emotional psyche at a very young and impressionable age, and can affect you now just as sorely as it affected you when it was happening. I have struggled with this one myself. Many times if I feel that I am not getting enough love or attention or I am not giving myself enough love or attention, I will start having increased back pain and headaches and all kinds of real ailments! I don't know if your particular religion allows for energy work, but I have had unbelievable results working with reputable energy workers of different types. Craniosacral therapy, pranic healing, and any emotional release work are wonderful places to start if you want to dig deep and release very old baggage. Craniosacral is actually becoming accepted as western medicine now and was developed by an M.D. It also has shown some success with fibromyalgia patients...
Oh I so hope that you are not insulted by what I'm saying. Please know that I'm not assuming I know you or what is going on in your life, I am merely sharing ideas based on my own experiences. You have so much that is going on right now for you. I am, to a lesser extent, in a similar boat right now and am about to start choosing a really good therapist whom I trust to talk to and work through some of these things with me. Have you tried that at all? My emotions, especially from the loss of the babies and past traumas I've had, are often overwhelming, and I've found it helpful in the past to have someone in my corner who has an objective, outsider viewpoint. Someone I can go to to talk everything out and see things from a new perspective.
Now in terms of the paranormal things going on, I'm not too sure what to do to get it to stop, but if it were me I would start with trying to get myself into a very good emotional place in which I'm feeling as calm and centered as possible, feeling very loving toward myself. Unconditional love for myself, happiness, calmness, joy... Those are the emotions I invoke when I want something to leave me alone. That's what I would try first, and see if that scares them away or bores them to tears.:)
Good luck, and God bless. Feel better soon!
Love, Trudy

Hello PL
I am overwhelmed with everything that you have written. You are just one person, and how much can one person take... I applaude your courage and wisdom.
Please seek help, I am sure you have tried but then again... Life is bigger than anything esle so I know that you will see a way out of all of this. My prayers are with you and your children.
Keep us posted on how you are doing because trust me after this post I for sure will constantly think of how you are.
XLXL
P

Hi princessLotus I commend your courage and strength for having to have suffered everything you have gone through, you do sound like a very strong woman as it comes across in your story. I wish you and your family all the best and keep well in your faith to god, take care and thank you for sharing your story I think it helps to get it out there and off your chest sometimes.

Thank you

Dan

Thank you bigC. I really try hard to not show anyone that I get depressed. I always wan't people to think all is fine & I'm in control. Mostly because I hate to burden others with my problems, even though I am always willing to take on any ones burden. I'm just that way. But yeah I have been crying a lot lately but I save it for when I am alone or in the bath or something. I know if I never let my self go & cry I'll just end up even more a mess. Thanx for reading! Bless you.

~~LSD~~

all I can say is wow! I also suffer with depression so I know how hard that can be but then on top of that all the things you've had to go though geesh I'll admit it your strongest woman I can think of as a man I can admit even stronger then me.

Ps good luck and I sorry about your lose